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TW: Pet Loss

The last week has been difficult. My cat, Callie had kittens on March 20, 5 healthy kittens. About a week ago she didn't come back in the morning. She is a feral cat, for those who don't know, or who care to know, Callie is a cat that came around about a year ago. I started feeding her and eventually she became comfortable around us. She is an outdoor cat for now. I had hoped of eventually being in a place financially that I could give her a home inside with us.
Anyways, about a week ago she did not return in the morning. Her kittens however are still here. I hope she comes back.
I started feeding the kittens. I'm still trying to find homes for them. I cannot afford to keep them all and even just TNRing them wouldn't work since I would still want to feed them if they came around :/
Luckily I have a few friends who are trying to help me find homes. for them.

This entry feels rambly. I honestly just miss Callie. That's my cat. I've cried a lot the last few days. Hoping I'll hear her, that she'll just be sittin on the porch when I come up the driveway. My mind is so unkind. The first day she didn't come by I immediately assumed she died... Several people have mentioned to me that that's just something feral cats will do something. Just leave. She could have been uninterested in caring for the kittens. Still, it feels so unlike her. She had a home here. I'm just incredibly saddened. It's been hard watching over the kittens, it's not something I've done before. I hope once they are a few weeks older that it will be easier for me to find homes for them. I hate that all I can do is hope that Callie comes back eventually. Processing that she may never come back has been so difficult for me...

To add on to my week, my car's check engine light came on and I didn't hear back from the place I interviewed at on Monday... I just wanted to vent. Thanks if you read this one.

Been up to a lot this month so far. Last week I decided to take on a little 60 Day challenge. The challenge being to just do something each day that fullfills me in some way. Be it walking or working out, creating art or indulging in hobbies, organizing my space and cleaning etc. In the past, it's been easy for me to spiral when in a sad state. I've been feeling pretty lonely recently. Instead of falling deeper into a dark place, I've been trying to get out, do things, and learn to enjoy my solo time.
Last week I went to Lopez Urban Farm in Pomona, CA and picked veggies. The day was beautiful since it rained before. I walked around, saw the goats and chickens, chatted with my sister in law, and picked these beautiful veggies. I love that the only hands used to harvest these veggies were my own. Feels good. I needed that outside "touching grass" moment. I will definitely be making it a point to go out there more often and just enjoy the outside.

I've also been on a smoothie kick since mid February. My partner has been bringing home oranges from work, and I've been making the tastiest smoothies. Not pictured in the above photo is the vegan vanilla protein powder I've been adding in as well. Having a refreshing and protein filled smoothie in the morning has been so important to the start of my day. I understand that people with ADHD really do need a protein meal in the morning and I must say, it's really been helping me. I've been making them for Jem too to take to work. Drinking this with my huge glass of water has been a great routine and would highly recommend.

I walked around town the other day and checked out the new coffee shop that opened, Nosy Neighbors. It's got such a cute vibe inside. They specialize in mini donuts. Hopefully they bring a vegan pastry option soon. My drink was called "Sweet Dreams" latte, a vanilla lavender latte with oat milk. Pretty tasty! Walking around town with my little drink, enjoying the sun, and playing Pokemon GO was so fun! Of course I've been getting dressed up to help me feel better and it feels so nice when people compliment my style or outfit.
Right now, I'm on day 9 of 60. And so far this month I'm feelin fulfilled in my days. Even on the weekend when I just rested the whole day, that is still working towards my goal. Rest is important and taking care of my body has felt so good. I'm excited to continue this. I called it a challege because of how my brain works, but I'm happy to find peace and happiness with the time I spend alone with myself. I miss having friends who want to hang out. Feels bad not having a close crew that just wants to meet for crafts, chatting, or whatever. But I know I'll find such friends when the time comes. And feeling confident in myself will attract the right people.

A new day. On Monday I quit my job. It was coming for sure. But the burnout that came with this job was really taking its toll on me and my partner could see it happening. While I am looking for a new job, I will be utilizing my time to relax, work on projects, and learn some new things.
Today, I decided to go to Sanctuary Coffee. It's been awhile since I've gotten to enjoy a day out that wasn't a weekend. I spent some time at the cafe journaling and working on my planner. I'm on a mission to rate the chai lattes that I order. I figured this would be a good idea since I know I've had some drinks that I don't end up liking but forget when I decid to try a place again. This one did not wow me. It was lacking *the spice*. It wasn't even sweet. Ya know, when you have a chai and sometimes it's got the good spice flavor, sometimes it's too sweet, this was neither.
But I enjoyed my time. The day was nice too. We've had a wet week in Southern California and I'm happy to left the house.
Sanctuary Coffee Chai Latte with Oatmilk: ★★☆☆☆

Times like this that I really enjoy living in Sourthern California. The day is Saturday 1/27/24 at 8am, and I am reminded via a tweet that the Nier concert is happening later that night. I decided to check resale tickets and found two edge seats in the lower mezzanine for a pretty decent price. Jem and I decided we'd go. I'm so happy we had the opportunity to do so. This series is one of my all time favorites and to have the chance to hear the music live was amazing! Pictured here is my seat E222. I hadn't noticed the seat number at the time of purchase. But seeing in person was so fun. I wear my 222 bracelet everywhere. It almost felt like it was meant to be. It was nice to get dressed up with Jemmy.
After the concert we grabbed some Tatsu Ramen to go. It honestly heats up really well. A wonderful night filled with beautiful music and ramen, a perfect saturday.

From 1/14/24, some friends got together for our friend, Kitty's birthday. We ate at a delicious Vegan Restaurant, House of Fortune. Below are some of the dishes we got that I really enjoyed. It was a short hang out that day, but it's always a delight to see my friends. Not pictured is our buddy Panda, who graciously took the photo for us.
One of my "Ins" for this year is to take more photos with friends. I'm so happy that I have so many lovely people who enjoy hanging out with me. And I'd like to be more mindful of our moments together. Even just taking a fun fit photo like this or pictures of our day, I hope to snap more photos this year.
I'm excited to get back into my blog here and sharing and recording my year and the lovely moments in it.

How was everyone's Spotify Wrapped? I'm a little late to posting mine. It's pretty funny. I definitely was listening to Spotify most of the year (exclusively using it after getting xManager set up on my phone), but it's so funny to see that BabyMetal is my top artist. I didn't start listening to them until AFTER the concert I went to in October. It changed me. I'd always known of BabyMetal but hadn't truly listened t them until then.
Such as it goes, my personality is addictive when it comes to music. I really started exploring breakcore and other hardstyle music these last few months of the year. It's been a fun genre that I've always enjoyed but really started exploring different artists this year. It's been fun sharing music with my friends and finding new artists and genres. I'm ALWAYS open to music recommendations!
I've seen some really cool music blogs here and some of my mutuals have awesome monthly playlists they post. I'm not sure if I'd get to that point, but I'd really love to make a music page that I go more in depth into things. If you're interested, I have a music page with some of my fav songs.

My birthday is coming up this Sunday, 11/26, but last week I had the pleasure of celebrating it with my friends. It was a Vegan Tea Party themed birthday. My friend made focaccia bread and chai cookies. I made tea sandwiches, soup, and cream cheese danishes. It was so lovely! It has been a long time since I've gotten to celebrate my birthday with a group of friends who I love and who love me. It was so magical. The weather was so nice that day too! After a week of clouds and rain, the Sunday sky was so nice.
I was gifted some fun stuff too. It's overwhelming to know that people WANT to be in my company. I'm so thankful for my friends. (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)
My wonderful friend gifted me a bong too haha. It is literally half of my height. (˃̣̣̥▽˂̣̣̥) After breaking ours on 4/20 this year, we've been borrowing one from a friend. This one has been good to us. It's 'A Bong Named Slickback.' They even gave us some new flower. I feel spoiled!
It was a fun day filled with laughs, food, and love. Since I've been getting used to working full time again, this was a great treat. I wish we'd taken more photos of the food!! or better photos at least. After making all the food I was just so physched to eat it. Not pictured is a HUGE bag of pomegranates that our friend Ivo brought over when he showed up.

Happy Halloween! I started my new job last week! It's been going ok so far. It's one whole month of training before I'm put on the floor. It's been a HUGE shift in my routine and schedule, but I'm doing my best. I get to wear cute little office outfits too. We aren't allowed to wear shirts with graphics on them though. So that's half of my wardrobe. But I've put together a few cute fits with clothes that I already have. My mornings start at 5:10 am now. I've been making hot matcha lattes to take to work with me since I'm up so early. It's been ESSENTIAL to my morning (and my morning routine). I've made a work friend who lives only 5 min from me too! Carpool time!!
I miss hanging out with Callie. I took this picture of her a few days before I started work last week. The weather was just starting to get nice. I would eat my breakfast outside on the porch and just hang out with her while she ate too. She is still being fed of course, I just don't get to leisurely spend my day with her.

Last huge update is that a friend moved in with us! They'll be living with us while they save up a bit. They were being kicked out of their place. And I'm very happy with are in a position where we could take them in for awhile. They have two rabbits and a cat. So it's been fun having a few extra animals around the place. They even made me soup and fresh bread on my first day of work for dinner! I'm so lucky!!!


My birthday is coming up! I'm so excited to play a little party to celebrate with my friends! I'll be having a tea party themed birthday at our place. Homemade treats and food, fresh iced and hot tea. I made a whole pinterest board with ideas and recipes I want to make! This will be my first birthday as an adult where I've actually had enough friends to invite over I'm so excited!

Last weekend I hung out with my (new) friend A again! We went to Color Me Mine! I'm so excited to show the plate I painted! We should be able to pick up our stuff in about a week.

Such a fun week!! On Wednesday, I took the 3 kittens to a friend who will be fostering them and helping me find homes for them! Two girls and one boy. I'm so happy they were able to take the kittens in. They're already being cared for.

WELL! The same night that I took the kittens over, I could hear meowing outside. Jem opened the front door and there they were. Callie brought over ANOTHER KITTEN that was obviously not caught by the shop emoployees that gave me the others. She was a little bigger than the other 3. I fell in love. I cried on the porch.

It's really nice to know that this stray knows that she can trust me! (not really stray tho, let's be real i've been feeding her since march lol)
I am HIGHLY considering keeping this one. She is now with the other kittens being fostered till she's a little bigger and eating dry food. I am searching for a name for her. Any suggestions? She's precious. My partner really liked her too. It definitely felt like "What about this one?!" when Callie appeared on our porch with her. So happy she is safe. Callie will be TNR'd soon! Another one of our kitten loving friends came over on Friday and got to have some kitten time. Small little potatoe got lots of love.



On Thursday 10/12 we saw BabyMetal and Dethklok at the Youtube Theatre in Inglewood! OMG!! What an amazing concert. I haven't listened to BabyMetal a ton but I am so on board now!

Photos from a friend who was on the floor level. We had seats on the second level and they were still perfect. The crowd was great. The energy was so fun. I haven't been to a metal show in a long time. Afterwards the three of us got ramen, the perfect post concert meal.

10/14 was a fun day! It was my partner and I's 6 year anniversary. We kind of agreed the concert was our fun anni present. So I actually spent the day hanging out with a new friend . We met on BumbleBff and hit it off. Hanging out with them was such a blast!! We got boba, smoked together (I smoked from The Volcano Hybrid for the first time, really cool way to partake!), did crafts, and watched Arrested Developement. They also let me check out their BEAUTIFUL sticker collection! I got to decorate my new planner cover. They had so many different hobby supplies, ones that I don't have. It was so sweet.
We grabbed food at Modern Shaman in Whittier, an all Vegan restaurant. The food was delicious! We split this ice cream brownie for dessert. I'm genuinely so happy when I meet other Vegan people. Hanging out with them was so fun. We're already talking about hanging out again. I came home and gushed to my partner about my new friend //.//
Such a lovely Saturday.

FINALLY! Two weeks ago I went to the business next door, where I was certain Callie had her kittens, and gave them my number to call me if they see the kittens around. Today I got the call! Three of them left. A few others taken by customers. That's ok, less for me to try to rehome. They are so cute! Very noisy. They spent the afternoon sleeping in a box in our tub. Mama Callie came around and seemed uninterested. I'll be getting them some kitten food in the morning. I posted them on my IG and luckily someone is interested in one of them. Hopefully that pulls through. As much as I'd love to keep all of them, I already have two bunnies. And our household is about to be full on pets.

I was finally offered a job! I accepted it. I start October 25. I'm so relieved. I'll be able to relax and focus on other things now.
I've been drawing daily since the beginning of the month. I challenged myself to drawing for 30 days. Because I can only seem to do something if I challenge myself even though I WANT to do it. Either way, it's been very rewarding.

I used the DigiBun stamp I carved awhile back for the first time today. I'm so excited to use it for other things. I've been keeping up with The Artist's Way and have been feeling much more inspired. More lax about just creating art and not forcing myself to create things for my shop, and being less hard on myself for not making things "perfect". Perfectionism is my enemy. Journaling daily has helped a lot with that. I feel so much more free when I draw now. It's so important to show up for yourself. Something I am doing for myself.
Now that I'll have a job to start, I want to use this time for my projects, my art, to work on myself, excersizing, going on walks again. Trying to talk to more people. Bumble BFF has introduced me to a few of the people I now call my closest friends. I felt very unavailable before. But here's to showing up for myself and growing friendships.

My little outdoor kitty cat, Callie still comes around. It's about time I capture her. At least TNR her. But she comes inside my house now. She leaves if she gets started. But she willingly comes inside now. Though I have been giving her small treats to encourage her and remind her this space is safe. She's just so much more comfortable with us than she ever has been. I'd love for her to be mine, not just my "not my cat" cat that I care for daily. Her showing up on my porch every morning, mid day, and at night are my favorite times of the day. She's just so sweet. Sometimes I'm certain she comes by just because she wants some company and affection. She wont let me pet her yet, but we will get there! She's come so far since the first day I saw her walking in front of our house.

It's been a busy few weeks, but it feels like such a short amount of time. I got my first Hobonichi! I'm really excited to use it for 2024. I got the Weeks Mega and the Original A6. I plan on using the techo as a daily journal/mini scrapbook. I follow some really creative people who got me interested in getting one. Shane uses her monthly page for a sticker a day, and I just love that idea. I'm very excited to get creative with my own.
I recently started the 5th week of The Artist's Way! Journaling every morning has been really good for me. The chapters have felt very relatable. And the questions certainly make me see things differently. Sometimes I get so stuck in my head that I need to be prompted to think of things differently.

August 30, the night of the Super Blue Moon, I went to a local farm with a friend. We picked veggies together, ate fruit straight from the tree, and chatted with people who came that evening. It was really nice being on the farm, lit up by the bright moon. A much needed day to "touch some grass."
That week I also made some bread for the first time. It didn't rise like it should have, but I was able to save it. I made this little lunch with some of the veggies and the bread. Tofu scramble, the most delicious figs I've ever had, and toast with jam.

I had a job interview on Wednesday. It's an e-commerce position, things I know. It was the first time an interviewer actually asked about my small business. I have it at the top of my resume. She even looked at my website and complimented my crochet work. It felt good and also upsetting that no one's ever asked about it. The relevant skills are there, but people usually skip over to my previous job experience. So hoping it went well cause damn I really need a job.

Today I started doing my morning pages in my new journal. I just started reading The Artist Way by Julia Cameron. I really love how I decorated the front. Sticking stickers on to things is new for me. I love collecting stickers and stickers from my favorite artists. It used to be really hard for me to use them. "Am I putting it in the right spot? Will I like it here? What if-" IT'S EXHAUSTING! But I've been a lot kinder to myself recently when it comes to using these. It makes me happy to decorate my things with stickers of art I like. With the same idea in mind, I'm using this tin pencil case from when I was a child. I had these as party favors for a birthday when I was young. The date on the back says 1998. Of course I kept the one with Chibiusa on it. She is me, I am her. I'm eager to follow along more with the book and continue with morning pages, which is just longhand, stream of consciousness journaling right when I wake up, three pages worth. Honestly, not hard to accomplish with my forever ON mind.

My brother's wedding last week was lovely. It was beautiful and I had a good time. My baby brother isn't a baby anymore. He hasn't been for a long time. It was a lovely time. And it definitely provoked a lot of emotions and helped me reflect on my relationship with my family. heh... Lots to journal about. I truly wish D and D the best.

Another week. Yesterday I had a job interview. Honestly, the position is wack and I'm not enthusiastic about it at all, but money. I'll find out later today if it's been offered to me.

The real event of today is that my brother is getting married. I'm very happy for him, as happy as I can be at least. What I'm not prepared for is seeing my family. I definitely feel like the odd one around them, but I think it's because I'm just *aware* of my neurodivergence. But I'll be completely prepared: water, snacks (because i'm unsure if there's a plant based food option), headphones, + more. The location looks lovely. I'm also very excited to wear what I've picked out. It's red and black with strawberry accents.

I started medication for my adhd about a week ago and it's certainly starting to work. So much stuff I want to do! I feel excited more than I feel dread about doing all the things too. I'm not sure if I've ever felt this way but I'm happy something is helping.

Happy Friday! I wanted to do something fun for my creativity today. I've had some shrink paper from Daiso for awhile and have been waiting for the "right time" to use it. No right time like right now! I wish I had taken some photos of the process, but I may do that for my text batch. I traced some drawings from my sketch book to make these. They are pretty dainty charms. My favorite is the middle one with the bell. That's me! Or the way I like to draw myself lol.


I love them! I have them on my waterbottle pouch for now. I'm definitely excited to make more of these. This would be such a cute date idea. I'm planning on setting up a night my partner and I can just draw together and make little charms for eachother

Today went pretty well! I had an appointment in the morning, went thrifting for an outfit for my brother's wedding, and got a lavender lemonade from Borreguitas (it was so refreshing!). I did find a few pieces for my outfit and I also got a super cute frame.

It's been heating up in SoCal! Our spring time was so cool. Even up through June we had some cooler weather. It's finally starting to push 90F+ The bunnies and I are able to stay pretty cool in my room. They get little frozen grape treats during the day. I prepared some fresh lemonade for us with some lemons from a friend's tree. Homemade lemonade just hits right on days like this. Today we had poke for lunch! The spot we go to always hooks us up. My veggie bowl was LOADED! I get sushi rice, tofu, green onions, cucumbers, carrots, edemame, pineapple, and avocado with their house sauce and garlic miso. It's so good! I will add my own vegan spicy mayo at home. Such a filling meal for these hot days!

Mulpitle kittens confirmed! At least I've been seeing three.(edit* FOUR KITTENS!!) Calli, the original stray I was feeding, has been bringing them around our porch for the last few days. A calico, just like Calli, a little white and orange one, and a darker one with stripes, who looks similar to the dad who we saw for the first time the other night. They seem to have already been weaned and are super happy to eat the wet and dry food I've been putting out.
Thanks Aldi for having affordable cat food. I definitely plan on trying to trap them for TNR. Would love to help socialize them. My original plan was to gain Calli's trust and maybe bring her inside. Now there's lots more to play. A dark photo of two of the babies eating the other night. I noticed 5 cats total so I put out lots for them to eat as I usually only see the mom during the day.
This big dude came by Sunday night. Not too happy about it, but it's sad to think that he was probably displaced because of fireworks since I live off a main street sort of inner city.
First time we've ever seen a raccoon here, usually just a little opossum comes by. Operation Catch These Cats will start soon!

It's 7-7-7! I love days like this. Today I watched anime with a friend, worked on this site, and played some rhythm games.
The stray cat I've been feeding was apparently pregnant and we saw kittens last night! She tried showing them to me. So tonight's mission is to see if she will attempt to lead me to them again. Then? I'm not sure. But I'm too in it now to just ignore them.
Jem is currently grabbing boba for us Today I got Peach Jasmine Tea with Lychee Jelly ♡

I'm not really into "celebrating" the 4th of July, but I will be using this day off to do some much needed chores.
I set up my weekly planner spread for this week while watching Masa Toro's July Set Up Video. Having her monthly journal videos on while I work on my own is part of my routine. I'm currently locked into the layout I have my planner set up as, so I'm so eager to get a new one going. I don't want to give up on the one I have right now, so I will wait patiently for that time.

I'm so excited about creating this site! I haven't played around with html / css since I was in highschool making myspace layouts. It's been such a fun experience to work on this page so far and relearn the things I used to know.
I have so many ideas for this blog. I've been hyper focused on this for the most of my Sunday. I'm so eager to share all the things I have ideas for!